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Friday, June 5, 2009
shyte.

okay, firstly i fucking missed the pit yesterday. and im feeling very guilty for not coming. yeah, as for some reasons. im pretty tired and stuff. im sorry guys for not coming. i feel really bad. and yeah, i'll make it up to you guys. thonning outside are just not my thing these days. definitely nothing to do with having a relationship. its just that im just not into thonning anymore. maybe late nights but not thonning. some might know the reasons and some doesnt.
as i and my brother had to take care of my grandfather , who is no longer strong and capable of doing stuffs. we, have to take full responsibility in taking care of him. maybe, only weekends we can thon and stuffs. weekdays are hard as some of my family members are working and theres no one at home. that's my choice. a promise made upon my grandma's death, for which i and my brother will take care of my grandfather. i dont wanna fail doing so. so, that is why i havent been out for quite many times with friends. and if i ever have a chnce, for sure i will hang out with everyone soon.

its tough, but ive tried my best giving time for family, friends and even my honey. whatever, i hope evryone understands my situation. mum's no longer here, i miss her so much. dad's, well, he goes way back. he's in prison. yeah, that's me. my fucking life. drugs and fights landed him in there. and ive made this decision, whereby i wanna be the most responsible adult. to take care of everyone. my friends and family. no matter what situation im in, i'll always stand strong, smiling. never letting anyone see me in defeat. if anyone out there thinks that im away most of the times, not hanging out, doesnt mean i forget you.

some people has their mindset in the wrong way. thinking that their friends are maybe no longer like the past because mainly they have a girlfriend? fuck no. you guys just have to figure out the fucking truth behind it before making assumptions. that's just as bad as backstabbing. some of us just have bigger problems without you people knowing. i'd rather keep them to myself rather than having people feeling sorry for me. that's just who i am. you might see smile on your friend's faces, but you will never know how they feel inside. what are they going through. well, im definitely not referring to anyone. its just a post to make you know and realise. right? so fuck it, i love everyone of my friends.

honestly, my life is meaningless without friends. they made me happy, they cheer me up and make me stronger. fuck it, i just love my frinds and even my family. i'll do whatever, but not whenever. see you guys pretty soon. i promise. thanks to everyone who has always been by my side for years and years. thanks for fucking understand. and lastly, happy birthday to my beloved friend, alfee. though our frindship just started last year, i hope it continues to go strong and may our friendship last long. i love you very much! sorry for not coming for your birthday! but hey, be happy always bitch! love you!

here it goes, i'll always have your back, even if you dont hae my back. my principles are simple, everyone is my friends, even if you hate me or not. in the end, i dont fucking gain nor i fucking lose.