Tuesday, May 26, 2009
sushi.
im feeling a little bit better except for this morning that i had a fever. wtf. was too weak to do stuffs. woke up as early as 7 just to accompany honey on the phone since i didnt get to go to school with her today. eventhough i was sick and weak i still wanted to accompany her on her journey to school. she kept asking me to go to sleep but i refused. haha. okay, as soon as she reached class she asked me to sleep. and yeah, i did eventually. my heads killing me and my nose is running like a water pipe.
so, here i am. i just bloody woke up. updating my blog while texting my honey. she's in school having break and im at home infront of the stupid lappy. im hungry and theres no food for me to munch on. can someone please send me food to my house? haha. need to wait for honey to end school. she's ending at 3. supposedy 430 but she refused to go to PE. haha. i wanted to fetch her at her school but she didnt want me to. she said that she'll be meeting me near my house as im sick. sweet or what? iloveyou.
still got jamming session at night. 6 to 8. im sick but still im going jamming. idky. i think i'd just go eventhough if im not feeling well. we need to complete our last and final song for the EP. im scared if things dont go well for the EP. we're definitely rushing like fuck. corefest this sat and sun. im really going to worked out. hope i get well soon so that i could perform well. pray for me guys. im still waiting for the clock to strike 3 so that i can meet my honey. end sooon. i need you here. hehe. that's all for today guys. see everyone at corefest yeah! stay true.
Monday, May 25, 2009
glory.
currently having flu. wtf.
lazy to do anything. nothing to update about.
wait up for my next post. seriously blank. haha.
okay, i'll update a proper one soon. see ya.
pride and glory.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
abuse.
do you even have brains? do you even have feelings? don't you ever feel guilty? aren't you afraid of dying? you useless piece of shit. faggot. motherfucker. im ashamed that you're just the same race and religion as me. im very ashamed. and i bet the others would feel the same way too. your actions are stupid. don't you ever think? or even consider how other people might feel?
i read an article yesterday, about this fucker who killed his own fucking son-to-be. selfish and indespicable motherfucker. for a reason that's not worth his fucking actions. a guy with no dignity and brains. fuck you. this guy is a shame to us, muslims, malay. a disgrace to the fucking community and country. what kind of person would abuse an innocent child whose only crying? use your fucking brains please. listen to your heart not your fucking foot!
you disgust me! how could you? a person like you should be thrown into a hole full of red ants. eaten and bitten alive. by then, you would realise of what you have done was totally wrong. what were you thinking? killing an innocent soul? was it really worth it? does it make you happy? no! instead, it lands your fucking ass in jail. fuck you!
what has this poor boy done to you? thats what i want to know. what has he done? dont you ever think? fucker. sentenced to 7 years and 12 strokes. is it enough? no its not. i dont think so. this guy should be hanged to death or maybe put through an electric chair. may god bless your fucking soul. i hope you die in a few weeks or maybe days. you deserve to die.
God, please put an end to this. an end to suffering. an end to misery. i beg of you. kill these people who brought digrace and shame to everyone. fuck him. he dont deserve to live. i hope you rot in jail! fuck you!
Monday, May 18, 2009
dear.
dear you,
I want to be there for you when you fall, when you finally shatter into thousands of sparkling pieces, slivers of stained glass. I want to be there to glue you back together, to let your sharp words and jagged thoughts pierce into my flesh like daggers, ripping into the pads of my fingertips and drawing blood with every piece of you I reattach. you’d be beautiful even if you were broken.
dear you,
you’re worth the pain. I love you.
do really know when will the world end? of whats going to happen next? well, im sure you dont and you wouldnt want to know but if you do, i bet you would be pretty scared. i have always thought life was a circle pit. everything was going to go on round and round. always thought that it would be great to live in the rich and famous, dreams of mine that would never happened.
life is actually cruel, living in the darkest alley is much better than living in a world of hate and discrimination. to know that you're so fucking great, knowing that no one hates your fucking self. i dont really understand of why hate should exist in this not-going-to-be-forever life. you know that you're not going to live forever, then why hate?
questions after questions yet still no answer. ive yet to find peace in this world where people honours people. where tragedies dont happen. where life is great without worries and hate. many indescent and stupid acts happening around us. without us noticing, we should do something about it. knowing that we are a part of this.
animal cruelty, animal abuse, rapes, tortures, racial boundaries, religions hatred. these are some of the fucking problems, of the fucking things that are happening around. around us. why dont we do anything? this is definitely an issue. it may not be to you, but it is to me. it really is. i really need to speak this out, of what i felt about this whole fucking situation. whats the point of freedom of speech? when you dont really speak out?
i know im not someone who can fulfil what i say, but i believe that i can make a difference. maybe not so much of a big difference, but still, it is a difference. yeah. ive always thought that living and thinking positively is a healthy lifestyle for me, maybe not to you, but it is to me. so yeah, thats about it. circle pit of death!
HAPPY 5 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY HONEY!
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment
I treasure
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
THE LYRICS EXPLAINS IT ALL. MORE THAN WORDS.
every single day of my life, i think and mourn for you. every single breath that i take i think of how are you. i still deny the fact that you are no longer here with us, on a special day for mothers all around the world. i kept thinking of the past that we used to spend together as one, the hardships you went through to bring us up and the problems we had done.
i really wish that you were here, to wake me up from my sleep. to kiss my forehead and make me drown into my sweetest dreams of all. i may have done alot of sins to you, but i have not forgotten of what you have done for us all, forever will you be remembered. im sorry for what ever ive done. you are truly a women of strength, a women of will a women of patience i shall say. against all odds you never failed and say that you lost the war.
to the greatest mum of all, is my mum. the most patient and strong. a mum who knew that giving up is never a choice. the only way to succeed and overcome obstacles is by trying and perservere. i really really missed you mum. we all missed you so much. sometimes i wish that you'd never leave. no matter what, i'll always try my best. to live by your motto of not giving up.
you are the most wonderful, the most greatest mum in the entire world, i love you very very much. forever will be remembered and cherished in our hearts. "you raised me up, so i can stand on mountains. you raised me up, to walk on stormy seas." i will forever protect our family's pride and glory for i love you so much, and only you. a happy mothers day mum! i really miss you! hope you're doing fine there. i love you.
hello fellow earthlings. sup? okay, today is a very tiring and exhausting day. yeah, woke up as early as 630(mcm biase jgk nisa call), to get ready for school. i thought today holiday sia. wtf. lazy want go school. like wth. supposedly they should let us ITE students holiday too. argh! nehmind. okay, meet girlfriend at marsiling mrt as usual. then went to send her off to school. okay, as usual send her off to bishan ITE gate. haha. sweet tak? lol.
today, we planned to 'cabot'. haha. which means skip school. too lazy to go. haha. so, planned to go ITE ang mo kio. so, waited for faiz and kiki to arrive. wait so long. i called kiki and he said he just boarded the train. so, i took the train from bishan and went to khatib to wait for them so that we can go together. -_- pathetic right? haha.
took the train which they boarded and off to yio chu kang. haha. reached there and we saw alot of people going to school. haha. and yes, we're the only ones skipping. fuck. and not to mention, mussybart also wanted to cabot. he said, "sial la faiz, asl kau bilang aku!" haha. funny. thats what faiz told me. and yeah, still have to wait for him. ass. he reached around 15 minutes? haha. and yeah, saw alot of "bapok-faced girls.'' haha. but they are practically genuine girls. only that they look like bapoks. lol.
still have to wait for the bus. so fucking long. saw many familiar faces. old friends. faiz(other faiz). haha. and some others. its been a while since i met him. and yeah, we chatted quite a bit in the bus since we havent been talking for so long. haha. finally, reached ITE ang mo kio. at last and the school fucking corrupted la. no offence people of ITE amk. lol. corrupted like fuck sia. haha. went in, lepak canteen. suddenly mussybart wanna go to the toilet as he has stomach ache. wth. we had to accompany him to the toilet and its at the 3rd level? wtf.
met up with the rest, faiz, danny and iskandar. accompanied muss to berak. lol. so fucking long and believe me, stinks like fuck. haha. they were smoking when the school's ''dog'' came barking. lol. everyone rushed to get away. haha. funny sia. hahah. especially danny, ran like a pussy. wth sia he. after muss finished, we headed to the canteen to eat as we were so hungry. met up with afiq and we chatted quite a bit. cute sia he eat using hands. anak melayu la katekan. hahah. funny sia. chit chat forever pasal music. haha.
okay, after that, went to lepak somewhere near i connect. a square table. and we saw this guy like voguelicious or something. haha. lembut giler like fuck. annoying sia. haha. waited again for faiz and the rest as they went to class. wth. few minutes later epul and an met up with us to lepak. bebual konek. they talked about this girl whose name is eton. HAHA! kampung sia the name. nonsense. then they keep disturbing her espeially muss. suke kacacu org. and an kept complaining about hungry. haha. after the rest came, we went to the canteen to disturb this guy step hot waidi or something. haha. what a pity.
shall not elaborate more, too long la sial. after that we lepak at toilet there, they smoked like fuck and yeah, after 3 weeks of not smoking, i smoked! fuck! i feel bad la. haiyo. okay, thanks guys for making my boring day today into a wonderful one, faiz, kiki, danny, afiq, iskandar, mussybart, an and epul. haha. if not, my day at ITE amk is gonna be a boring one. haha! okay, sorry for breaking my promise of quitting smoking, i just cant take it. the headache, flu and non stop dizzy-ness. haha. wtf. im sure i'll quit soon! woo! okay, im at starbucks now, sorry, i dont think i detest starbucks that much now. haha. sorry eh mussybart! haha. im chilled. okay, till here. bye!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Wheellock.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
where?
where are we now? hoping that you could understand but obviously you dont. yeah, like duh. i really hope that people could fucking understand my fucking situation. bitch please. you're just wasting your ass off. wtf are you trying to prove? are you trying to pull my friends away by saying all those shits? regarding yourself as a great friend to me but no, obviously you dont fucking understand me. so stop pushing things over the edge.
fuck you man. i thought you were different, a great friend whom i could rely on. but NO, youre not. wtf? you gotta understand my fucking situation. please. OMG. what are you thinking? i guess you're just the same like the rest. have you ever thought what i've done for you? i was always there. remember? but now, things changed. people change, situation's changed. please fucking understand.
i didnt know that you'd turn out so bitchy and shits. you're just the typical kinda person. i guess you're just the same as minah? do you think so? well i know so. you're just so spoilt and stuff you know. hey, open your fucking eyes. you already got him what more do you want? what else? im fucking disappointed in you and so am i surprised by your actions. why? man, all you gotta do is understand. stop stating shits on the cyberworld cause it wont affect me.
you're pissing me off by your actions. well, you just lost everything babe. yeah, you just lost. you're done. stop these shits. you're spitting shits that could stir up people's feelings. seriously. i just dont fucking understand what you're trying to convey here. you got everything, love, money, friends and shits. well, heres a tip. treasure them not toying around with them. you know me, and i just cant stand bitching. i can be your bestest friend and so can i be your worst friend. you make the pick.
i am fucking done and over this. so, if you've got something to say, you better make it simple and nice. the reason of not informing of the change was because you're just a completely different person. a person whom i dont know know. where's the old you? you used to understand. times can be like before cause you fucking know im attached. you're treating this whole shit like im having a serious relationship with you when i dont. stop it. its so fucking annoying and attention seeking. you think you got what it takes? spit it. say it to my face. cause you dont matter no more just like you said how i dont matter.
im real sorry about the harsness that was exploited here. but seriously, anyone in my shoe would be fired up too. think of what youve done. whether its right or wrong. im really sorry. things changed and people changed. you're a fucking disappointment. seriously. remember, treasure your friends, your family. theyre all you have left. take care.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
true.
my goals in life are...
1. to study hard and go to higher nitec, then to poly and university if god's willing.
2. to find a stable job, make money to support my family.
3. to quit smoking. which im still on the process now.
4. to go on a tour with my bandmates maybe starting with SEA.
5. to probably get signed by a recording label or something.
6. to take care of my family when i grow up.
7. to be a successful designer, musician and a responsible person.
8. to always be there for my family(girlfriend).
9. to be all of the above and if god's willing, maybe i'll succeed.
there are many more which i would want to achieve in life. many more things which i think that i should achieve. cause i believe in myself that i can do it. for i know that im the only one who can achieve my dreams, make my dreams come true. to be a better person in the future. maybe, i could make a difference for the world and people around me. to be a role model. someone whom people would look up to in the future. its time for a change and i know that i can make it, i can get through this.
i just have to think positively. set my goals, and make sure that i achieve them all. whatever obstacles. i have to go through with patience. cause, that's the only way to succeed. i know that no one can stop me from achieveing and doing what i want. fuck it. this is my life. and thanks to those who have helped me, family(girlfriend), friends and some others. i sure owe you guys.
stay true to yourself. fuck what they say, its your life.
a breaking in spirit, a breaking in promise, a breaking in me
how can i find the peace inside me, in a world i can see....
thats taking and taking all for ourselves, taking and taking
and its dragging me down, deeper and deeper
watch me sink like a stone.....
in a sea of selfishness,
where "me" is more and "you" is less
the vanity, it becomes insanity.
we eat the shit that's fed to us.
we stomach it, and we embellish it,
and we confuse our love with lust.
.....cant we find another way?
the way that goes against the grain.
Abstain, The Grain.
abstain, abstain, abstain, abstain
THE GRAIN
the ugliness, licentiousness, the love that is just skin deep......please get me out
before i become just a memory of what i used to be.....get me the fuck out
we're deaf and blind to a age's cry....
we refuse to fucking hear.
not learning to grow, just losing the one
i used to see in the fucking mirror
the egoists, the narcissists....the shallow waters wade in.....please get me out
before i become just a memory of what i used to be.....get me the fuck OUT
"of a world thats doing its best, night and day, to make me(you)
everybody else"-e.e. cummings
........hell.
please take me out...
of a world without any heart
take me out...
when they see my hope and rip it apart
take me out....
of a world we built to serve our selfish-fucking-selves, can you tell me....
where does love fit in?
remember what true love is?
Monday, May 4, 2009
donuts.
you made my life wonderful
as beautiful as the rainbow
you made my life splendid
as cool as the ice and snow
never have i felt so important
since the day you hugged me
never have i felt loved
since the day you kissed
to be with you is all i had in mind
so what would you say dear?
to hold you tight is all i ever want
please take my hand baby.
oh. i love you.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
life.
hey ho lets go. im feeling better now, feeling grrrrreat! yeah. my throats better, no more fever. im good now. haha. jyeah! ive promised you guys a proper update and here it is. been fucking busy. very busy with school cause tests and exams are near. loads of reports to do. wtfish. god, please help me on this. need to manage my time wisely. i got around 2 more weeks to finish up on my report since my project is done. jyeah!
okay, school has been great. everythings good. been well. oh ya, i have this stop smoking workshop last thursday. wtf? haha. i was caught smoking before the holidays and yeah, i have to do some stop smoking workshop thingy. haha. god. alot of people got caught. wth. counselling was from 1230 to 2? wow. so long. but yeah, i think its worth the talk.
i think that ive come to a point in life where ive decided to do something for myself. do something positive? do something that is good for me and those around me? man, the workshop really helped me to stop smoking. i think that i seriously need to stop smoking and stop damaging my health. life's not worth smoking and damaging yourself. yeah. like seriously. the workshop really helped me to open my eyes and made me see to what dangers that i could experience if i continued smoking.
im very happy with myself, i've finally decided to do this. to quit smoking and shits. if i dont, only god knows how long im gonna live on this earth. that workshop is seriously helping. woo! 3 more sessions to go! wooooo! hahah. okay, i'v already watched friday the 13th! super awesome minus the porn parts. wtf. hahah. the most awesome thriller ever sia! next up, angels and demons. i think its gonna be nice cause the trailer seems good. hahah.
went out with gf yesterday. went to sungei rd then off to town since i always complained of how long i have not been to fareast. hahaha. walked around town then went to heeren. okay, this part is seriously making me mad. haha. went to flash and splash, i went to look for stuff when i saw this cap. so fucking nice! volcom. dope giler la sial! hahah. i wanted to buy it but not enough money. haha. nevermin that part but then, gf took the cap and paid for it. WTF? she insisted that the cap was my belated birthday present. WTF AGAIN?
hahah. seriously, you dont have to waste your money to get stuffs for me. i just dont like it if my gf treats me and stuff. it can make me go mad. hahahah. so honey, please dont do that again. hahah. nehmind, you just wait. hahah. im sure i'll get something for you cause i already have something in mind. btw hun, thanks for the cap. i loved it alot. thanks for wasting your money okay? haha. i love you very much! wooO!
here i am sitting infront of the lappy, so fucking bored. waiting for gf to text me so that i can go out and meet her under her block. she just came back from expo. bought a lappy. wooo! confirm action sia later. wth. hahah. good for her so that now she doesnt have to share with her sister. hahah. going out with gf again today. not sure yet of where to go. i'll think of a place later. for now, i need to get ready. i miss all my friends now. hope to see you guys soon okay? i miss you guys fucking much!
till here, fuck this fuck that. fuck what you say, you aint got what we got. suck them balls and kiss them ass. stay positive friends.
Do inform me if you wanna go.
I need to confirm how many people are going with us because we need to book a bus.
Anything just contact me through myspace/handphone. Thanks. K bye.
